


Beautiful Misery

by AstridEquinox



Series: Dream Team Oneshots [5]
Category: DreamWasTaken - Fandom, GeorgeNotFound - Fandom, Minecraft (Video Game), Sapnap - Fandom, Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Angst, Gay Characters, George is left out, M/M, Multi, This is pure angst, be forewarned, but it depends on the mood that I am in, he is sad, he thinks that nobody cares, nobody invited him to go to live in the Dream Team house, there is no happy ending, there might be a part 2 with a resolution, tw: derealization at the end
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-23
Updated: 2021-01-23
Packaged: 2021-03-15 01:20:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,746
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28930155
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AstridEquinox/pseuds/AstridEquinox
Summary: George gets a random call one day that Dream and Sapnap are meeting up. They never invited him to come along — never even told him that they were going to live together in the first place — yet they told Karl and Quackity. George originally plays it off for them knowing that he can't leave the UK, but when he sees how Dream and Sapnap behave together, he begins to rethink everything that he thought he knew.
Relationships: Clay | Dream/GeorgeNotFound (Video Blogging RPF), Clay | Dream/GeorgeNotFound/Sapnap (Video Blogging RPF), Clay | Dream/Sapnap (Video Blogging RPF), GeorgeNotFound/Sapnap (Video Blogging RPF)
Series: Dream Team Oneshots [5]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1895725
Comments: 15
Kudos: 139





	Beautiful Misery

**Author's Note:**

> If you did not see the tags, PLEASE HEED THIS WARNING.
> 
> There is derealization at the end of this fic. Derealization is when someone begins to think that nothing around them is real, and they disconnect from the world. If this is a triggering topic for you, DO NOT READ THIS! Your mental health is imperative above all.

As much as George claimed that he was okay, he most obviously wasn’t. He felt like he was falling in an endless pit, a pit with no escape, nauseous even though he hadn’t eaten anything bad. 

He tried to be happy for them, he really did, but it was impossible. Dream and Sapnap were together, the two of them having the time of their lives somewhere in Florida, and George was stuck in the UK. He pretended to be the supportive friend— reassured them that he wouldn’t be hurt with them meeting up without him, but he still felt  _ so _ many negative things. It felt wrong — wrong to be envying his friends as he was — and that only added onto the hatred that he not only felt towards them, but to himself.

Was he not good enough? Had he ever been? As much as Dream and Sapnap claimed, they had never invited him to go to America with them. They had never asked him if he wanted to, they just randomly called him five minutes before Sapnap was leaving so that they could tell him the news. It had been some time now, about a week, but George remembered the call like it was yesterday.

_ “Guess what!?” Sapnap bellowed over Discord, causing George to laugh and roll his eyes.  _

_ “What is it, Sappy Nappy?” He teased, reaching for the white water bottle that he used for streaming. He lifted the straw to his lips and took a sip, the cool liquid soothing his burning throat. He had finished up recording a new video before this, and his voice was tired and rough, so he was trying to relax it as much as possible. _

_ George always loved how Sapnap sounded when he was excited. He could tell when it was real versus fake, as the raven would often feign happiness while on a stream or recording. He had a lot of problems with his anxiety and his body — problems that both he and Dream knew about — so knowing that today was a day in which the raven was _ truly _ elated warmed his heart. _

_ “What do you think?” Dream’s smooth voice brought George out of his thoughts, the gentle voice that caused him to melt in his seat whenever he heard it. “Sappy hasn’t been this ecstatic in ages!” _

_ “Mm,” George hummed, setting his bottle back down on his desk. “Did you get your results back for that essay you were worried about?” _

_ Sapnap groaned, the sound of something jingling coming through the mic on his end. “No— well, yes— but that’s not the point!” _

_ “Did you fail?” George interjected, not realizing that Sapnap was going to continue speaking until he heard a short “uh” from the other end. He closed his mouth when he realized that the raven was going to say something else, then laid back in his seat, closing his eyes as he tried to imagine himself in person with his two amazing friends. _

_ “He always does,” Dream commented, causing an irritated “hey!” from Sapnap. Both George and Dream laughed at him, a light-hearted thing that meant no real harm, but calmed down after a minute.  _

_ “You guys are mean,” Sapnap snapped, all in the name of good fun. “Dream, if the first thing that you bring up is my test grade when I see you, I swear to God that I’ll slap you silly!” _

_ George was about to pipe up and say something else, another quip to make Sapnap upset, but stopped. _

_ Sapnap was going to slap Dream? They had joked about that sort of thing before, but this time Dream was not pointing out that they were online. The blond giggled at Sapnap’s words, his voice coming through the call again. _

_ “Yeah? If you slap me I’ll restrain you— it’ll be easy! Not like you’ll be anywhere as tall as me anyways.” _

_ George felt himself begin to panic. What was going on? Was there something that they were not telling him? Was this meant for a private call? He was always the type of person that wanted to get involved with everything — he either had to know all details about a situation or nothing at all — and this was not helping with his own nervousness. _

_ “Guys?” George asked, almost feebly. He hated the way that his voice sounded, slightly rough yet desperate for something that he barely knew anything about. “What’s going on?” _

_ Both Dream and Sapnap quieted, the silence causing George’s fingers to start twitching nervously. The brunet brought both of his hands together and began to play with them, hoping that would give him something to do.  _

_ “I’m in the car right now,” Sapnap suddenly stated, both George and Dream able to hear the sound of an engine rearing up. “George, Dreamie and I are meeting up.” _

_ George’s heart dropped. They were meeting up? Without him? They hadn’t even asked him beforehand, hadn’t mentioned this to him, and Sapnap was about to go drive to Florida? What? _

_ George said nothing for a long while, trying to collect his thoughts. He opened his mouth, coughing slightly before he managed to get a word out. _

_ “Oh.” _

_ There was an awkward silence in the call, one that nobody seemed to have the courage to break. George watched the time anxiously, watching one minute turn to two, and then eventually heard the small clicking noise of what he could only assume would be the turn signal of a car.  _

_ Sapnap was driving to go see Dream. _

_ Without him. _

_ “H-how long?” He whispered, hoping that his voice wouldn’t sound too pained. “How long have you been planning this?” _

_ “A month,” Dream answered quickly, his voice as honey sweet as ever. George would have normally been soothed by such a tone, a perfect voice that he could fall asleep to, but now it did the exact opposite. Sapnap was going to see the man who harbored that voice in person — he was going to Florida as they spoke — and George was being left out.  _

_ “I wish that Karl and Quackity could come too,” Sapnap chirped, causing there to be a good-natured laugh from Dream’s end. “But the both of them have plans.” _

_ Karl and Quackity knew? The two of them had known about this — had been invited — but not George? The Brit felt anger bubble in his chest, fiery and hot, but he forced himself to push it down. _

_ “Got your computer and all that? You can meet me at the house,” Dream offered, and George could practically _ hear _ the smile as he spoke. “You have everything that you need to survive for a month?” _

_ “Yeah,” Sapnap confirmed, the sound of the turn signal evident through the mic again. “Just my motivation to actually drive to your place, I guess. Gonna try and do it all in one day.” _

_ “ _ One _ day!?” Dream echoed, his voice instantly lifting. “You won’t survive. Didn’t you get like— three hours of sleep last night?” _

_ “Hey!” Sapnap clicked his tongue, “don’t talk about that. You make sacrifices for the homies, y’know? I’ll manage.” _

_ George felt entirely left out of this conversation, one that Dream and Sapnap were having as they were going to see each other. Sapnap was going to see Dream, going to see his  _ face _ , and George wasn’t able to. It hurt. _

_ “You’re just that desperate for cuddles, aren’t you?” Dream cooed, his voice lowering at the prospect. There was a hearty laugh from Sapnap’s end. _

_ “Oh, you know it,” he flirted back, his voice also going deeper. As Sapnap and Dream continued to talk, George zoned out. He couldn’t take this, couldn’t handle the fact that they were meeting up and they hadn’t even told him! Not only were Sapnap and Dream going to see each other’s faces, they were going to be able to hold each other, relish in each other’s company, perhaps even do something more romantic like they had discussed before! George had thought that he was included in that, that Dream and Sapnap loved him, but now he wasn’t so sure. _

The call had ended with George hanging up abruptly, and neither Dream nor Sapnap had sent him another message or called him back. They hadn’t even noticed he was gone.

Now George was watching back one of Sapnap’s speedrunning streams, eyes glassy with tears. The blankets warmed him, the cold breeze of the air fanning through the cracks of his window, but they did nothing to cheer him up. He wanted to be in Dream’s arms, leaning back into a warm chest as he listened to a beating heart. Sapnap would tangle his fingers in his hair, playing gently with the brown locks as he whispered sweet nothings to him. George would feel so loved — loved by his two friends — the people that he trusted with his life and perhaps something more. 

George certainly didn’t feel loved.

Not now, when he could hear Dream and Sapnap laughing together over the stream. Chat was asking for Sapnap to call Dream into his room, to prove that they were together, and it looked like he was going to do that. George waited anxiously, his heart pounding, then eventually heard the faint voice of Dream through the mic.

“What? What do you want me to look at?”

“They want you to say hi, Dreamie-poo!” Sapnap laughed, a harsh creaking noise rushing through the mic as he sat back down in his seat. “Go on, don’t be shy!”

“Dude,” Dream grumbled, his voice getting closer. “I literally have fifteen million subscribers on YouTube. I don’t think that I’m very shy.”

“You are,” Sapnap retorted, the keys of his keyboard clacking as he resumed his speedrun. “You could barely look me in the eyes when we met, and  _ I _ was the one who had to initiate our hug!”

The stream moved just as slow as it always had been, but to George it seemed like it was rushing by. He was inside of his mind for the majority of the stream, hearing what Dream and Sapnap would say but not processing it. None of it was important anyways, they were just kidding around like good friends. Who was he to stop them from meeting up? They had known each other for longer anyways, and it wasn’t his fault that COVID caused the UK to go on lockdown. 

He wished that Dream and Sapnap had told him before Karl and Quackity, but he could understand why. They must not have invited him because they knew that he couldn’t come.

...right?

George sniffled, blinking back tears. He reached from a tissue on his desk, pulling it out of the box before blowing his nose. The short gesture caused him to recenter himself, to remember where he was.

He was alone. Alone in his house, the house that he grew up in with his family, the same people that he would see every day. He had nothing against them, but he wanted to meet up with Dream and Sapnap, and hearing how happy they were without him was like a knife being stabbed into his heart. They hadn’t called him once since he had left the previous one, and he had never gone more than a day without talking to at least  _ one _ of them.

A question was then brought up about George, one that Sapnap read aloud through a donation.

“Hi Sapnap, I love you and everything that you do. Glad to know that you and Dream met up— when is George going to join you guys?” Sapnap paused, the clacking on his keyboard stopping for a moment. There was some shuffling, then Dream’s voice piped through the stream again.

“He can’t, sadly,” Dream said, voice as trained as ever. “He’s in complete lockdown so he couldn’t see us even if he wanted to. Besides,” he continued, voice fading into an inaudible whisper at the end of his statement. 

“Yeah,” Sapnap concurred, voice also quiet. He then spoke up again, back to his normal, “cheery” self. “Yeah, it’ll be a while. Besides, I want Dreamie all to myself,” he teased, a light laugh from Dream chorusing with the raven’s.

“Oh, stop,” Dream snickered, that signature wheeze fading out. “I know that I give good cuddles, but they’re not  _ that _ good!”

“You give the _ best  _ cuddles,” Sapnap gushed, his voice slightly wavering. “You’re so  _ warm _ . I knew that you would be substantially larger than me, but I didn’t think that meant you would be able to spoon me so well—”

George shut off the stream immediately, throwing his phone somewhere across the room. He heard a concerning bang from wherever it landed, but he didn’t care about that right now. Phones were materialistic items — they could be replaced — but his friends could not be. It was obvious that they had moved on from him now, that he had lost them for whatever reason. The Dream Team was notorious for goofing around with each other and flirting, but Sapnap basically confirmed on stream in front of almost 100,000 people that he and Dream had indeed cuddled.

They had cuddled without George, and they had never invited him to come with. They had invited Karl and Quackity over him, people that they had only just gotten to know, and George was left in the dark.

There must be something wrong with him— that was the only explanation! He used to be loved by Dream and Sapnap, used to be included in almost everything that they did, but now he was left out of the pack, the two of them practically  _ rubbing _ their success in his face. It hurt, it hurt more than everything that he knew, and he wished that he had just stayed in the dark.

He began to question everything now, every little encounter or interaction that he had with the two of them. He thought that he had been included with everything, that he was a part of the group, but the more that he paid attention to it, the more he realized he was in the wrong.

Dream and Sapnap had begun calling him less and less over time, only when they needed to stream or do something for a recording. Their random conversations that would last for hours on end had turned into quick five minute things, both Dream and Sapnap being busy around the times in which George was not. George didn’t blame them, they had things to do, but he wished that they could make time for him as he tried to do for them.

Both Dream and Sapnap were amazing people who deserved to be loved. George wanted nothing but the best for them, wanted them to succeed and do whatever they wanted to do, but it appeared that he was not a part of that.

He was not good enough for the two of them. He was not good enough for Dream or for Sapnap, not good enough to be in their relationship or even be their friend. It was obvious in the way that he had been being treated recently— how could he be so blind!? 

He didn’t blame Dream and Sapnap for not telling him— how could he? The both of them were sweet men that were bad at confrontation, and it was obvious that they had been trying to drop hints. They had been trying to convey that they were no longer interested, that their friendship had faded out, and that was fine. People grew apart, it was only natural.

George buried his face into his pillow, sobbing softly into it. He determined that the best thing for him to do would be to distance himself from both of the boys, let them be a part of the Dream Team themselves. They were the dynamic duo, always doing things together, and George was just a third wheel. He always had been, he had just been too dumb to realize it.

George felt himself beginning to slip away, feeling as if he were falling into an endless pit. He was going numb, leaving his own body, leaving this world. He was alone in an unfamiliar place, one in which he was blind. There were strings attached to him — he could feel it — but as much as he tried he could never be free. 

He was being manipulated all along. Nobody cared about him. They never had.

He was better off alone like he had always been.

Alone.

George Henry Davidson.

All alone.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading this fic! I know that it got sort of sad, but I had this idea in mind ever since Sapnap's first speedrunning steam in his and Dream's shared house. Thought I'd write something angsty from George's perspective, as it seems that all I am writing about is fluff and other romantic themes. There is nothing wrong with that, but this was a nice change.
> 
> Please leave your constructive criticism in the comments below! I want to know what you think! Also, please consider joining the Dead Dove Kingdom (DDK) discord server, run by another writer (Whoreofaneboy) and me. Here is the [link](https://discord.gg/BeP7a29Z3T).
> 
> Also consider joining my personal Discord server! It is called Astrid's Universe and it is new, but we are looking to grow a community of nice people that read my fics! The link is [here](https://discord.gg/3WxPJSVfEQ). Come say hi, we don't bite and we are very accepting!
> 
> As always, thank you for reading, and stay safe! COVID is still at large!
> 
> Sincerely,
> 
> Astrid <3


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